open the curtains!

"Let's open the curtains and let God in!"

Why that sentence came out of my mouth as we started the day, I really don't know.  True, it's GORGEOUS outside this morning, but God lives in my house as well as outside.

HOWEVER,  I've been praying over this worship/"HolySpirit you are welcome here" thing.

And my object lesson this morning was clear!

God lives in my private times alone with him with the curtains closed.

God is in my private places where I shut myself away.

But when I fling open the curtains 

It’s amazing.  But, worship wise, I so often stop here.  I gaze out the window of the beautiful box I live in.  I let the light in, He shines through and I see His beauty.  

I appreciate God's craftsmanship.  And God is here.

 

BUT there’s no substitute for going outside!   

 

Outside.  Where I am small and He is the creator of the air, the boundless sky, the mountains, the breeze in the trees that creates a new picture  - fresh for that moment only  - never to be seen again in exactly that way…

My worship has been controlled, beautiful, but not very daring.   At least not very often.

I am exposed when I am outside.  I’m not in charge of the climate when I’m outside.  It is GLORIOUS when I am outside.  I have choices, but I am not in control when I’m outside my box.

So often when I pray for people to get outside their box, their limited view of God, I simply want them to get in my box.  

I saw that this morning. 

But God is calling us - all of us - to come outside.

His invitation is so open, like his arms… He’s SO much bigger and more full of inviting love than I can imagine.  And I’m a pretty imaginative girl.

There’s plenty of space out here… for everyone. 

So what’s holding me back?

Control.  The bottom line is this.  Do I trust Him to love me enough?

©2015 Lydia D. Crouch

may I, poorer, richer be...

I Cor 10: 14 Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry. 15I speak to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. 16Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ? 17Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf.

18Consider the people of Israel: Do not those who eat the sacrifices participate in the altar? 19Do I mean then that food sacrificed to an idol is anything, or that an idol is anything? 20No, but the sacrifices of pagans are offered to demons, not to God, and I do not want you to be participants with demons. 21You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord’s table and the table of demons. 22Are we trying to arouse the Lord’s jealousy? Are we stronger than he?

Today is our 22nd Anniversary.  I love this guy more now than I knew I could when we were all young and dewy eyed.

So why am I putting in a celebration in the middle of talking about idolatry?

Well, I was just thinking about being "one" with someone.

Some people say I'm totally missing out if I don't open myself to try any temptation comes my way.   I'm missing out on the glitz, the wealth, the applause.

Well, yeah.... I'm missing out.  I'm missing out on infidelity.  I'm missing out on lies.  I'm missing out on porn images sharing my bed.  I'm missing out on doubt.  I'm missing out on having to be perfect.  I'm missing out on wondering if he'll come home tonight.  I'm missing out on the debt from the purchase of toys to feed my insecurities.

So much for missing out.  :)

And this is my prayer, lately.

May I, poorer, richer be.

As far as idols go, there's this really important link to thanksgiving in today's verses.

Thanksgiving is the antidote for idolatry.

When I begin to give thanks for all the treasures on my plate, I see them for what they are - FAR MORE precious than what I would find anywhere else.  Sure, things can look sparkly from a distance, but they're just pop can tabs that cut bare feet when I get up close.

Jesus gave thanks when He offered up that last supper.

That's nuts, right?  I'd be hiding and begging and running.  But here He was, giving thanks when He was about to be martyred for people who were too stupid to get it.  But Jesus kept the real prize in his sight.  Something beyond the temporary fix.

Through thankful eyes, He could see refined gold.

Thanksgiving is the antidote for shortcuts that only lead to long term pain.

Thanksgiving is the antidote for grumbling.

Thanksgiving is the antidote for idolatry.

Thanksgiving is the antidote for immorality.

Thanksgiving is the doorway out of temptation.

Thanksgiving is how we respond to the meal He serves... Himself.

I am thankful for my husband.  He is a total gift I do not deserve.

©2015 Lydia D. Crouch

first kiss...

I Cor 10:13  No temptation^c has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^d beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^e he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

This is a surprising moment.  Here's the steam punk bride in, yes, a black wedding dress.  And yes, she is definitely swimming outside mainstream.  So how would you stereotype her?

You'd be wrong.

This girl is drug free, modest and pure hearted.  She is not goth.

In fact, the black dress is not the real surprise.

The surprise is this:

This moment I painted for their wedding gift was their first kiss.
Yes.  First.

Young and in love.  OBVIOUSLY not raised in a little shiny bubble.  Allowed to think her own thoughts and express her own viewpoint.  She CHOSE the way out of temptation.

This young, now married, couple have chosen God.  They waited...on God.

Maybe waiting to have sex till you're married isn't normal anymore.

Sheesh.  Who wants to be normal?




©Lydia C 2015

grumble = stumble...

I Cor 10:-13 And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.
 

11These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the culmination of the ages has come. 12So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13No temptation^c has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^d beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^e he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

If ever I wanted to grumble it would be this morning.  I am tempted to grumble.

I never saw the connection to this before.  Between grumbling and temptation.  I always applied these verses to my pet temptations.  You know the ones... The ones that would make me feel better if I overcame.  But God was talking specifically here about sexual immoraltiy... and grumbling.

Sexual immorality is something God takes VERY seriously.

Personally, I've not become tempted to "do" immorality, but tempted to accept it.  I prove this every time I watch a show and excuse it because I'm enticed by the story and I want to watch it.  I justify and say, "Well, they aren't Christians so... "  and I pretend it doesn't bother God.  Or that it doesn't affect me.

Oddly, I've noticed that I am particularly grumpy after watching those shows... grumbly.

Comparison is what makes me grumble most.

So... there's something here I need to look at.  

      Who do I compare myself to?  That anorexic, immoral, airbrushed, musically enhanced, specially lighted actress?  hmmm...  Oh and she's 20 years younger than me?  

    Why am I surprised when I try to measure up to fantasy that I find I don't measure up?

As I re-read this, I'm remembering verses I read back in junior high days.

Prov 20: 22Do not say, "I will repay evil"; Wait for the LORD, and He will save you. 23Differing weights are an abomination to the LORD, And a false scale is not good. 24Man's steps are ordained by the LORD, How then can man understand his way?…

And, when I was looking this up, there was also this one:

Hosea 12: 6Therefore, return to your God, Observe kindness and justice, And wait for your God continually. 7A merchant, in whose hands are false balances, He loves to oppress. 8And Ephraim said, "Surely I have become rich, I have found wealth for myself; In all my labors they will find in me No iniquity, which would be sin."…

I never - ever - noticed that connection.  Dishonest scales are in direct opposition to waiting on God.  One of my hugest temptations is comparison and envy...  No temptation^c has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.   But the way out is waiting on God!

And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^d beyond what you can bear.

NOTICE:

God did not say
"he will not let you be tempted"

He said
" he will not let you be tempted^d beyond what you can bear"

So temptation is a given.  Temptation was there even before sin.  Temptation is oddly an affirmation of my free will.   Without it, where's the choice?

But when (not if,WHEN) you are tempted,^e he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

I am tempted to grumble, but GOD IS FAITHFUL.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I have an off button on my remote.  I have meaningful work to do.  I have friends who I can actually trust not to double cross me.  I have a husband who comes home to me.  I have empty canvases to fill.  My husband has a job.  My children love Christ and are honest.  I get to blog.  I even get to choose how I will spend my day.   

I choose to wait on Him, even if 3 minutes ago I blew it.  I can choose to let that choice be the springboard for my changed life - the thing that makes me jump into the arms of the one who waits for me even as I wait for Him.  Ironically just like Him, eh?

  

 Love this song:  Sums it all up  Hungry

Lyrics:

"Hungry (Falling On My Knees)

Hungry I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all my needs
Jesus You're all
This heart is living for

Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

from grumbling to grace...

I Cor 10: 9b-10  We should not test Christ,^b as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. 10And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.

 hmmm...

I'm aware that I usually "blog-begin" with grumbling.  I start with something I don't like about myself.  Something I'm frustrated with.  Something that confuses me and makes me feel inadequate.

But God....

I've been thinking about what grieves the Holy Spirit.  I think I'm beginning to see ...  a) testing Christ grieves the Holy Spirit.  b) grumbling grieves the Holy Spirit.

He grieves as we would grieve our child if they were teens and started cutting themselves.  He grieves the child who cowers in the corner convinced of danger in the shadows instead of trusting in His arms.  He aches for them to be fear free, care free, doubt free, distortion free.

He grieves.  He aches.  He weeps...  He cares.

Testing Christ... refusing to take Him at face value as someone who keeps His promises, we keep saying, "Prove yourself by giving me what I want.  If you do that, then I'll know you love me..."

Grumbling... refusing to receive His gifts and yet accusing Him of not providing.

He has given us, through the Holy Spirit, the ability to thankful.  In all things.  And yet I cower in the corner.

I drew this sketch last Sunday. 

The bowl being on her head was accidental.  I just ran out of room on the page.  Then Laina pointed out how funny it was.  So, going along with the humor, I redrew her arm (originally down) to hold the bowl.   There on the page, I saw my prayer.  I want to be a bowl filled to overflowing.  Serving in beauty.  His clothes of righteousness for me.

 I keep thinking about how I don't want to grieve the Holy Spirit.  So I began to look up those verses from my recent blog.

Eph 4: 29  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs/at the moment, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I read the whole chapter and into Eph 5.  Here's this crucial phrase that could go unnoticed, buried either in explanation of what was just said or introducing what the following means - or both.

If it refers to the prior, then these things grieve the Holy Spirit:

unwholesome talk

If introducing what comes after, then these things grieve the Holy Spirit:

bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

The beginning of the chapter sets the framework:
 

...live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

BOTTOM LINE!  We grieve the Holy Spirit when we criticize people who, following Christ, disagree with how to serve him.  That grieves the Spirit.  It's like asking Him to stab himself.  It's the same ONE SPIRIT that dwells in each person who follows Him.  So whether I sit in a chapel pew, a square pew, a carved pew or a third world stump,  the WORD OF GOD tells me speak ONLY what builds UP his body and not to grieve him by tearing it down.

Dear Father, forgive me for doing this; for planting seeds that cause others to grieve you.  Holy Spirit, come cleanse my mouth and all the life-wasting motivation behind what I say.  Release me from bitterness as it is the slippery thing in my church going life... and please forgive me for slander even as I preface it with, "Oh bless their heart..." or "I'm concerned that..."

I live in daily need of His cleansing power of forgiveness. 

Still.  Still, He pours out his blessings.  He clothes me - us - in beauty and praise.


I finished this painting Saturday.  The story behind it is like marriage, intimate.  So I won't be sharing it right now.

But it's also there because I hope, I think, it's a message from the heart of Christ to every girl.



We are made to exhibit Him.  Holy is the Lord.  Holy.  He could leave us in our bitterness. But, no.  He clothes us in robes of righteousness.

In the end, it's simple.  He is grieved when we act like the cross is not enough.  When we look at others for definition and get angry when they don't give us what we actually have already in Christ.  Irony.  We just won't receive it.

But today! At this moment!  I rejoice.  I can dance.  I have all I need in Christ... and so much more.  Isn't He lovely?

©Lydia D. Crouch 2015

boundaries in pleasant places, even when they pinch...

What an idiot!

Today, it's not even 8:30 a.m. yet,
       Today, I wore my insecurities like shoes and stepped on the insecurities of someone I love.

The sun is out.  It's gorgeous, but I feel sick.

In one sense, I had nothing to do with it.  They need to work this out.  But in another, I had everything to do with it for not being willing to wait on God... for pummeling in carelessly.

What in the world does this have to do with the next verses in I Corinthians?  Honestly, I have no idea yet.  I get mad when I blow it.  Proud.  Defensive.  Insecure.  I'm supposed to be having a quiet time.

I started writing before I could even calm down enough to see straight.

I'm facing a wall with stains of my face hitting it the last time I was here.  The wall won.

When I want to get excited about something, but to do so would cause someone else to feel rejected, it makes me feel trapped.  The person is far more important than the idea... the dream.  Even though I truly believe the idea is God's idea, that it is valuable...

So what do I do with that?

Wait.

I can try to jump the fence, or wait till God opens the gate.

If it is God's idea, He can create the same dream within the other person.  He can unify our hearts so that we both can look beyond our insecurities into something bigger than what we can do on our own.  It may... it will... turn out differently than we imagine, but it could be so much better than any of us imagine.

I don't know.  So either this is spiritual attack or my stubborness.  Or a bit of both.  Sometimes it's hard to tell which is which.

So here I am Lord.  On my proverbial knees.  Please take this circumstance and use it to draw us to You.  Lord, you can have it.  If even the gift you gave me causes strife and division, then I'd ask that you take it back.  But if you are using this to cause us to grow, no matter how painful that stretching is, then I release it for that too.  Either way, I give it back to You - not ungratefully - but humbled that I even got to hold it for a bit.  

That's scary, God.  My heart went into that gift.

Anyway, it's still my choice.  Lord, help me not feel invisible or frustrated.  Thank you that you see me.

I Cor: 6Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. 7Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: “The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.”^a 8We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died.

Wow.  OK.

Setting my heart on evil things.... Like wanting to have my own way so that I can get some credit, some glory, that belongs to You alone.

It's hard to be an artist.  To write songs and produce paintings that speak out against immorality.

Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: “The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry. 

We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died.

That's just pretty clear.  While I speak up for purity through my creative gifts, though, it's so easy to let "getting credit" become an idol.   I can even set up the idol of wanting my kids to get credit.  This is hard.

Hard.  Hard. Hard.

The binger, the idolator, the immoral.  All separating ourselves from the gift of Christ - Himself poured out for us.

Sweet Jesus, thank you for even the friction.  The discomfort of the "electric fence" that guards me from walking out among the wolves.  They smile and say, "Come be one of the pack. We'll gather round you."  Right.  They'll gather round me alright.  Their smiles are for the anticipation of devouring their next meal, even if she be a stubborn mule like me.  Lord, you have protected me so tenderly.  You've set my boundary lines in such pleasant places!  I love you.

Psalm 16: 5-7a  The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. 6The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. 7I will bless the LORD who has counseled me;

 

from bell to bowl...

I COR 10:1For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers and sisters, that our ancestors were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. 2They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. 3They all ate the same spiritual food 4and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. 5Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.

I woke up craving sugar this morning.  I'm gaining weight because of my own choices.  Granted, the stress of resigning from my job, trying to navigate life with four drivers and two cars, and to plan trips when no one can nail down their schedule because we are all at the mercy of others' revolving deadlines at the moment... stress is present in all our lives.

But as I was gathering my foggy first morning thoughts, I was suddenly hit by this thought,

"I have as much self control as any other human."

What I think about, the truth - or lack of it - that I feed my thoughts directly effects that self control.

When I whine,
                         which I am totally tempted to do now

I am only trying to justify my unwillingness to pick up this gift and use it....   self control.

With that thought rolling through my head, I sat down to pick up where I left of with this blog.

I've tried to write again several times, but I wanted to skim over these verses.  They seemed like a bit of "yeah, yeah... blah, blah, blah."  And my head knows that every single verse in the Bible is there for a reason and is in its exact order for a reason.

Like a game of chutes and ladders or Candy Land,

I tried to get past this, but I keep landing back here in my lack of discipline to direct my thoughts.  In other word, its not what I'm doing that trips me up.  It's what I'm thinking.

The truth for me is this.

I keep landing back here on my game board because of my choices.  NOW, however, I'm seeing something.

No amount of good choices on my part can get me to his "promised land" for me.

I hear message after message, but they ring shallow.  A bell ringing, ringing... a vessel meant to be flipped upside down to be a bowl filled with His presence, overflowing into the lives of others.

the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. 

My worst choice is simply this.... trying to please Christ without letting the Holy Spirit do the work in me that He was sent to do!


I can not welcome Christ with one hand while pushing Him away with the other and honestly claim that I am trying to please Him.  

If He says, "Come" and I simply dump gifts at His feet and run away...

You see what I mean, right?

I can try to put the Holy Spirit in my tidy little box, but here's the deal.  When I go back to the box to ask for what I want, I will lift the lid and discover that the box is empty.  He has gone on to where He is welcome.  He will readily return, but only to open arms... surrendered and outstretched.

P.S.

After writing the above, I turned to my Daily Light devotional book and...  LOOK! 

I don't know exactly what it means to grieve the Holy Spirit, but I plan to look each of these references up and find out.