... I adore "re"

I love "re" in front of words.  REstore.  REcreate. REpurpose! REmodel!

I love it more now because of my keys which REappeared!


21 days ago,  I lost my keys. Within those 21 days, we took senior photos, I was offered a job, Davis got strep and missed his senior choir concert.  Yeah, it's been "big" around here lately.

But my keys, I really lost them.

I've had that key ring since I was in high school.

I felt sick.  I knew the window of time I lost them.

I was beat tired.  I drove to school to get Davis.  We were on a mission to take his senior portrait. We left the van for my husband and took off in Ramsey, our debt free volvo.  Davis drove, I was sleepy.

 First we went to the stables where he has a job mucking stalls.  My dad designed the beautiful barn.  I used to do decorative painting for the people who built it.  New owners now....   I took a quick nap then got out with foggy brain to throw a tennis ball for the dogs and meet the horses.  Love that.

Then we took off for one of my very favorite roads.  We Crouch's are not farmers.  Ha!, we're not even gardeners... but we adore living in farmland.  Our friends farm this land.  Our dentist is at the end of this road.  It's the kind of place you park and walk down.  Perfect for senior pics. 

Perfect for losing keys.

The day grew warm.  I started shedding layers.  We got a phone call while we were driving to this beautiful road.

It was a day wrecking phone call.

Davis was asked to be the youth leader for the next high school missions trip to Haiti.  After just one phone call, he was no longer the leader.  It was simply a matter of dates.  The new dates will require the students to miss two full weeks of school.  Davis will be away at college and we can't let Laina go either.

We park the car.  OK, try to smile Davis. 

Yeah, right, Mom.

So, we talk.

We talk about packing up a suitcase for college and leaving the comfortable chair from home.  We talk about how things that don't make sense can free us to be "fully there" for the place God is calling us to.

We talk about hurt, and pain, and confusion, and rejection.

We talk about how God is always leading us to the best even if we have to forgo something truly good to get there.

We talk about words spoken and how we hang on to them, but only God's words are unfailing.

We both cry.  Then somehow, we both start trusting.




And we're HERE.  This is our moment to capture a moment.

The sadness is still behind his eyes.  It's where a mother can see it.  But the sky is clearing.

I start asking God to REstore my child's dreams.

Lord, REfocus his vision right now to see what You see for him.

He begins to see it.  He realizes how hard it would be to have his heart divided between Canada and Haiti, much less his time... and his focus.

We talk.  I keep clicking.  Let's pull some more out of your trunk... your guitar.  "What do you want me to do, Mom?"   I aim and click.... "Just play, Bud."

He starts to play and realizes he needs to REtune.  Nothing's wrong with him.  Nothing's wrong with the guitar.  Music is just like that.  Instruments get effected by the circumstances around them.  Hot cars, even beautiful days.

I click.  I watch.  I click.  I pray.  The light begins to shift and catch more color.  I smile.

There's the chord.  The one that's got the sweet spot in it.

And there it is.  My son doing what he was born to do.

I forget everything but "right now".  Wow, click, we get to capture this miracle.  This moment when my son sees the bigger picture of Your Son, even in the middle of huge disappointment. 

And then I see it.  

There it is.  Just there at the corners of his mouth.  There's this micro expression he's had since he was a baby.  It shows up when he figures something out.  It's that moment when traces of determination yield to realizing that he's got it.  It was there when he learned to tie his shoes, when he jumped off a high wall, when he got a text from a good friend.  It shows up.

 

I keep clicking, opening the car door, walking up and down the road.  Leaning over tall grass.  Running ahead to capture the angle.  Keys?  What keys?  I'm all in the moment.  So grateful even through the ache.  I watch my son just be himself even as he yields to my ideas for the next angle.

And I watch him begin to focus on the road ahead.  We took LOTS more shots.  And somewhere on that busy day, I lost my keys.  I adapted, but didn't know what to do.  The missing keys made me feel like a failure and reminded me daily of my hard and beautiful day with Davis.  It's not the keys themselves.  It's what they open that I cherish.  I asked friends to pray.  And then there they were!  In a pocket I could swear I checked at least four or five times!  REstored to me, the joy REjoiced.   And I think of this path I'm on with Christ.  REpentance.  REstored.  REnewed.  New!  RE'd.