...I don't want to blog today

I dont' want to blog today.  I'm overwhelmed by a wall of deadlines and I feel I'm in over my head.  Sink or swim.... 

And yet because of this book, I know that God is able to handle wall and water.

He parted a wall of water for the Israelites to cross through.  I'm sure they were scared it would collapse in on them even though God was saying, "I love you" right there in a miracle. 

Jesus walked on the water!  He made the water settle down when he calmed the storm.  He enabled Peter to walk on it; and He rescued Peter when the poor guy focused on the water instead of the Lord.

Lord Jesus, I've criticized Peter in my mind.  I've said, "He should have kept his eyes on Christ.  He should have danced out there with you.  He should have stayed out there on the water for all eternity and become "Peter, the water walker."

OK, wait, Lord.  WOW...   That's what I do, isn't it?  I focus on living in the miracle instead of on what You are up to.  

You were walking on the water - why?  

You were walking on the water to get in the boat with your friends!  THEY were your destination.  You walked on water just because it was the best way to get to them?

I need to think about this.  Maybe the reason Peter was able to walk on water was because He just so desperately wanted to be with Jesus, be like Him, be all for Him.  "Lord, if that's really you (excited heartbeat!) bid me to walk on the water to you,"  he blurted when He thought it was really you, even though it didn't make sense for you to be there that way.


 I always thought Peter was just excited to DO what Jesus was DOING.

Maybe He was spurred by a desperation to BE with you WHERE you were?



These past two mornings, I have not wanted to be with Jesus where He is. 

I avoided sitting here.  I ate cookies.  I fretted. I looked at my circumstances and sank.  I tried to swim and make my budgets and flow charts and send my emails, but the waves just don't stop coming.

  I tried to just float and ignore it and watch videos and get my mind off of it with a movie, but the waves don't go away and I'll drown eventually with this tack. 

And Lord, here I've been judging Peter who WALKED ON WATER!!!!  I judge this guy for how he experienced YOU!  How cocky could I possibly be!!!?  Am I so desperate for You that I would take even one little step out of the boat?  I'm cowering under a blanket in the bow.

And yet you didn't expect all of them to get out of the boat.  You came to them.  Joanie saw this didn't she, Lord?  (Give my friend, Joanie, a HUGE hug in the boat today, Lord!)  You're whole goal was to get in the boat with them.  You didn't scold them for not walking on water.  You didn't really scold Peter.  You asked him questions to help him process what had just happened.   Sigh.

What in the world does this have to do with I Corinthians?

It has to do with YOU coming to us!  "Christ and Him crucified..."

It has to do with Grace.

For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?

5What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

Today, I could hear Paul saying,  

For when one says, “I follow the bishop,” and another, “I follow the foursquare church,” and another, “I follow the mainstream fundamental evangelical church,” and another, “I follow the non-denominational church,” are you not mere human beings?


5What, after all, is Beth Moore?  What is Francis Chan?  What is Andy Stanley?    Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 

Am I at least doing my task, Lord?

Today, my task is to feed my family. 

To work on our upcoming show.  To get writers on track for their next articles in the magazine.  But those are not my GOAL.  Those are tasks.  

My GOAL is to be with You seeing every task as a means to that end.

Lord, if this is really YOU, bid me to come out where you are...  Bid me to come to you.   And if I sink and You have to lift me up choking on sea water,  let me hear what you have to say about it rather than focusing on my failure and how soggy and wet I got.  

If I shiver, would you hold me?