I sat down to well - sit. Really sit and try to listen. Next thing I knew, I'd ordered phone chords and vitamins, updated a spreadsheet, checked on my neice... and I haven't even gone on facebook or checked emails yet. I did manage in a moment of distraction when I should have been making breakfast to tidy up my secretary a bit(for those of you who saw it in my previous blog.) It's not done, but neither am I.
Hi, Lord. Please defrag this clutter and clear the cookies or whatever it is that You do to help me be still and focus. Help me start at the beginning... In the the beginning there was God creating. Would you please create something new in me this morning? OK, time to dive in.
I COR 4:6-7 Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other. 7For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?
There's a funny thing about blogging. Just because I write and people give me some feedback, this little voice comes in telling me I'm more than I am... a mom sitting at home on her computer trying to listen. A little success tends to sound like successsssssssssssss. I hear the serpent saying, "Oooooooooo, how wonderful you are. You've become so wisssssssssse."
When I look at myself, sitting here with undone hair, paint splattered sweats it's just comical.
...so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other.
Sometimes I exceed what is written.
Sometimes I do this arrogant thing even with my children. I fall into becoming arrogant in behalf of one against the other. I feel competitive and I become arrogant when I feel insecure. It's a sign of not trusting God. There are times that I want them to succeed so I can feel like I did a good job somehow, somewhere. My stomach hurts just thinking how low that is. How ugly. How normal.
I don't want to be normal!
There are so so many fine lines.
The fine line between having a standard of excellence and being competitive in order to promote yourself.
The fine line between seeking God and only seeking stuff from God.
The fine line between feeling secure in God's call on my life and being cocky as if I have something to say on my own.
For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?
The fine line moves from day to day, ssssssssslithering, wrapping itself around my feet. I can never know when I'm close to crossing it except through the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Father, you and I both know that every good gift I have comes from You. Even the ability to be thankful comes from the gift of how You chose to create us.... in your image.
Sometime not so long ago, it occurred to me that if we are created in His image and He tells us over and over to be thankful, then He is a thankful being. Even when I bring my pitiful crumpled craft project that's still tacky with too much glue and glitter, He is thankful for it.
Lord, I ask your protection from snakes and squirrels. Let me stand confident in your grace today and calmly do the tasks ahead of me WITH You! When the snake starts to whisper, let me start singing thankfulness! When my eyes are on you, I don't need to worry about what's going on down there at my feet. You will lift me up and away from being tangled and bitten. Thank you so much... so much.... so much...
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