... short and sweet.

8But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
      10But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
      12But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
      17Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 18Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.
      21Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. 22For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. 23You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.
      25Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.
      32But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
      36But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 37But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.
      39A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.


---------------------------------
OK, I'm not gonna lie.  I've gotten totally bogged down here.  But when I read this all at once, I think the bottom line is "Be content".

Start from where you are,  married, not married, wishing you were married.  Free, not free.  Circumcised, or not.  There are moral boundaries that save us from a lot of misery.  But really?  None of it means anything apart from wanting to please Christ.

This morning, I'm facing a lot of my inadequacies.  Seems like my best intentions are drowned - or at least watered down and soggy - in my inadequacies.  I tried to make pizza for a family and I botched a simple recipe.  Their desert never made it to the car.  How can I completely fail at something so simple?  Why is cooking such a challenge for me?

I could spiral out on this thought pattern really, really quickly.  It's just that time of year for me.

Trying to make things magical but too busy to revel in a moment.  Putting up reminders of a miracle and forgetting the celebrate the miracle itself.

I feel like these verses.  Straining to do the right thing and almost missing the point.

Then certain segments pop out at me.  If I'm hearing this right, it sounds like this.

Whatever your circumstances, what matters most is the keeping of the commandments of God.  Did you start this walk with less or more than someone else?  Don't worry about it.  You were bought with a price.  Don't get wrapped up with your status except in relation to Christ.  Be free from concern.  If you can accept where you are right now, then you'll be happier.

That's about it for today.

... purchase-very-carefully-all-sales-final-no-return

I Corinthians 7: 1-7  Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

When I glanced ahead, I thought "piece of cake" on  this passage.  But it's never a piece of cake.  It's always real meat with the Bible.  There's always something to really chew on.

 My marriage happens to be in a really sweet place at the moment.

On December 1, my husband gave me the first of 25 surprises.  They are each amazing in their own way, but this one was a bonus.  He'd already given me one for this day.  See where it says, Day 6 - Surprise 7?

Paul was right in that it is less complicated to be single.   Marriage complicates things sometimes.

It's so easy to blame my day on Rich because he's there.  Every day is not paradise.  But one thing we talk about often is that we keep our eyes toward each other.

It's odd.  There are some men who find married women more attractive than single women.  It's flattering for a second and then disgusting for all the rest of time.  Why would I give up a man who works all day with women and yet calls me to tell me where he is...comes home to me even if I'm still in sweats with no makeup?

We are not wealthy, but I am completely spoiled.  I would take a mocha walnut cookie over a new car any day when it comes with the fact that my husband wants to share his life WITH me – thinks about me even when he's just stopping for a cookie at the bakery.

My husband keeps his word.

Now part of that is because of the passage above.  Marriage is not always convenient.  Marriage is not always time efficient when you've got a big list of "to do" items.  Marriage is about a long haul commitment through some bothersome obstacles.  Marriage is between a man and woman.  Marriage is a purchase-very-carefully-all-sales-final-no-return commitment.

Now STOP.  THIS is the day to seek God for your marriage.

If you are single – STOP! Do not believe the lie that you are less desirable.  Girl, this is who you are:

from Beth Moore Simulcast 2014

If you have been divorced, STOP listening to lies that You are less loveable, less holy, less desirable to God.  And please don't call Him a liar by saying "You can't love me."  Um... HE said He does.  That's what HE said.  He wants you to move on WITH Him. 

Let's think about who God used to write his WORD to us.   Um... Abraham.  Made some really stupid marriage decisions.  David...same.  Paul was a murderer.  WHY?  Why would God let them tell his story?       Grace...  they understood it.  They didn't cover their sin.  They talked about it.  Let God change them.  Walked forward TOWARD Him.  Walked on WITH Him.

Sorry for the tyrade.  I just get passionately angry at "us" when "we" fail to see how precious forgiveness is.  I was self-righteous for so very long.  There's absolutely no reason on earth I should have been given a faithful husband.

That's the point, isn't it?  Life is just life.  God let's us live with our choices, but He never turns His back when we seek Him.

Dearest Friend, Jesus.  You understand marriage.  It's the whole pattern of your relationship with the church.  Help me love my husband the way you want your bride to love You.  Help us as a couple be a portrait of how you view your church.  Father, please... even in this moment... heal the deep wounds of my friends who've suffered the pain of divorce.  Restore all that the divorce ripped away.  Bless their children and let them be page turners to new chapters where things/their own marriages  will be written out differently.  Mentor all of us in what a good marriage looks like.  Help us see that things we've tagged onto that picture that don't belong there.

Thank you.  I have no idea why you listened to my plea when I asked you to choose for me... except Grace.  You chose far, far better than I deserve.  Could you please bless my husband today at work?  Could you help me love him purely, passionately, with a bucket of fun?  Could you please cover my children with your protection; keep them pure and focused on you until the time you bring their mates?  And then, would you please let their marriages cause them to be even more focused and pure toward you as you hold their marriages in your arms?

Lord, may these marriages - may my marriage - bring you great joy.  I would so very much love that as a gift to you...   Amen

Well, I'd better go.  My husband is planning a surprise for me today.  I want to be ready.

...this is not about food

I COR 6:12-20   12All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. 13Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. 14Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! 16Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.” 17But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. 19Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Can't tell you how many times I've read this verse and tried to make it about food.  But, excuse my point blank language, this is about sex.

I think we'd all agree that some of the most famously messed up lives are some of the most famously talented people - actors.  Grueling hours, accessing deep emotions, pretending you're someone else so deeply that you forget who you really are.  And then, so deeply moved by their performance, we model our reality from a piece of fiction we watch on a flat screen.  Amazing.

And then thinking "I'm just acting," we enter an act so spiritually black and white that we fail to realize that our actions affect the whole body of Christ!  ...that even pricking your little finger with a needle causes the whole body to recoil.

When I was 24 or 25, I was a nanny in Massachusetts.  I was set up on a blind date with a guy in his young thirties, wealthy, and named Biff.  (Yes, really.)  I expected to at least be taken for coffee.  No.  We just drove.  He was an adamant thinker... and lost.  We talked about pretty much everything including sex.  He couldn't believe I CHOSE to be a virgin. 

For the next few days, we had several phone conversations.  His argument, and I do mean ARGUEment, was that there was no way I could possibly pick a successful long term partner for marriage without knowing how they were in bed.  I rather surprised him by saying that my mom had explained that the beauty of virginity is that you get to experience everything together for the first time... a beautiful private adventure.  He all but yelled, "You ask you mom if they didn't have major problems..."  I said, "OK, I will."

(Looking back, I realize that most wealthy blue bloods have almost no relationship with their parents until they are adults and most not even then.  They confide in their nannies.  So the mere fact that I even had honest conversations with my parents was probably totally foreign to him.)

So, we hung up and I dialed home.  After my mom got over the shock that I was even having a conversation like this with a guy, she gave me a totally honest answer.

Were there difficulties?   "Yes.  But that's the beauty of keeping intimacy within marriage.  You have a lifetime commitment in which to work it out - together.  Being vulnerable in a safe relationship means working things out - together - and that brings you even closer in the long run.  It requires honesty and trust.  Going through any kind of difficulty as one brings you closer together.  Makes your marriage stronger.  You both win in the end."    (Not her exact words, but the best I can do 30 years later.)

I hung up the phone realizing what a treasure I had in my parents. 

No subject was off limits for conversation.

I dialed Biff back.  "So what did she say?"

I told him.

He said, "I would tear you up in bed."

I explained something like I wanted to be cherished in bed, not torn up.

He said something that changed my life forever.  "You base EVERYthing you believe on the Bible!"

I thought about it and heard myself say these words to him.  "Yes.  I do.  I base my whole life on knowing Jesus and what the Bible says.  So far there has not been one thing that the Bible didn't answer.  Everything I read works.  If it didn't, I'd be wasting my time. 

It's either all true or it isn't true at all. 

If ever it totally fails, I'll walk away.  But it doesn't....      You base everything on what you want, and that changes all the time.  That's not big enough for me.  I need something more than that.  C.S. Lewis says that either Jesus was really who He said he was, or He was a lunatic or a liar.  I've met him.  He's real. "

Sometimes being forced to verbalize what you believe becomes the most profound and needed

.defining moment.

I'm not gonna lie. The guy was good looking.  I did wonder if I was missing something by not being torn up in bed.  But after 21 years of marriage and purity, that viewpoint looks like a filthy rag someone is trying to sell me saying it's better than my precious pearl...

Pearls grow in a protected, private environment that may not look appealing from the outside to others.  In fact, pearls grow from an irritant, a grain of sand.  But given time and privacy, that becomes the priceless treasure.


 Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. 14Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. 

Face value.  My body is the most blessed when my body stays connected to Christ.  My physical body matters to him.  My physical body has a purpose so much greater than just sex.  Sure, sex in the context of marriage is great.  He created it that way.

But there's a bigger purpose for my body and how I live in it.   Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?

Christ wants me.  I'm part of HIS body.  I'm part of his bride.  And he takes sex VERY seriously.


Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? 

May it never be! 16Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.” 17But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

Sex is a spiritual act!  God says, "Flee immorality."  Put quite simply, RUN!  RUN HARD!  RUN IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.

This has me stumped.  Envy?  Outside the body?  Greed?  Of course, what I envy is not what's inside of me.  I envy something outside of me.  I envy someone's house?  Even if I got their house somehow, it would still be outside of my body.  Hmmm...


Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. 

You're connected to something bigger than just yourself.  Everything you do effects something bigger.  You separate yourself, there are repercussions to everyone else.

Read it again, slowly.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.  

This statement is written to those with pure AND immoral pasts.  This is NOT about past sins in the sense that we're doomed if immorality was where we came from.  But it IS about past sins in terms of the high price God paid to deliver from it!  This is about how we live with Christ.  How we view our bodies now that we belong to him by our own choice.

This is BLACK and WHITE.  Some things in the Bible are more subtle,  and this part about the power of how we offer our bodies and what happens when we have sex holds a lot of mystery.  But it is still black and white.

HOWEVER, the point is not what we are to stay away from.  THE POINT IS TO SEE WHAT WE ARE A PART OF!!!!!  CHRIST!  He actually becomes one with us!

Emmanuel.  God WITH us.  In union WITH us.

Lord, it's Christmas again.  Let me GET this!  Let me walk in what is beneficial for US together.  I can't walk with you and expect to stay aloof from the body of Christ.  What happens to them happens to me.  Break my heart for what breaks yours.  Let me learn to glorify you in my body.  Forgive me for not seeing my body as truly valuable to you.  You paid such a high price for it.  This is so beyond how I view myself.  You place so much more value on me than I do.  I'm not sure exactly how to handle that this morning.  Thank you.  That's all I can come up with that comes close to a response.  Thank you.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht5QvAMDMzE



  

antidepressant: make a list of His benefits

I Cor 6: 12All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. 13Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body.

I'm in pain this morning.  Everywhere I look, Lord, relationships are strained.  People are hurting.  My friends' children are hurting.  Marriages are hurting.  My own children are hurting.  I honestly don't know how to navigate this day.  I used to be one to take sides and defend... but your cross is the thing that is changing me.  Your cross.  That thing you did when we didn't take your side.  You could have won any argument that the "know it alls" or the "front line fighters" or the "intellectuals" or even the "rich and famous" threw your way.  But you didn't look at them as the enemy.  You recognized the real enemy and fought FOR them to win against the source of their wicked/thoughtless behavior.

When our children are in pain, we want for them to win.  That's not Christ's way.  He wants his kids to thrive.  Sometimes winning a circumstance would rob us of that.

But I need to look at I Corinthians 6:12-13...

I don't understand these two verses really.  What does he mean, "the stomach is for food...?"

Half of it is crystal clear.  All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.

4851 symphérō (from 4862 /sýn, "together with" and 5342 /phérō, "bring, carry") – properly, combine in a way that brings a profit (gain), especially by a "concurrence of circumstances" that results in benefit or advancement (M. Vincent). 

not all things are beneficial 

To want what is beneficial is what I'm asking you for, Lord.  That involves seeing myself as worth being blessed/benefited.  Worth being the receiver of your benefits.  People keep confusing "seeing your worth" with "self worth" but they are not the same.  "Self worth" starts and ends with me.  "Seeing my worth" starts and ends with You.

My friend J and I had lunch yesterday.  

 We talked about the word benefit.

I told her about what I just wrote above.

She had read Psalm 103 and noticed that when David said, "Forget not all his benefits" he  then proceeded to list them out!  She decided to do that along with David.  She's been listing his benefits on her facebook page each day for the whole year!  The year before, she'd written 365 days of praise.  We marveled at the subtle difference.

This morning, my friend sent this email.

"After we left lunch, I was pondering the difference between praise and benefit…and this is what I came up with:

Praise is what we give to God
Benefit is what He gives to us."


So here I am trailing behind and starting fresh.  If I'm supposed to "forget not" then I have to NOTICE, focus on it.  I'm noticing the very first benefit David says...

2Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; 3Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; 4Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;…

 See it?  It's the key to all that follows.  Who pardons all your iniquities

Out of God's forgiveness come the rest of his benefits:  Good health (healed from diseases).  Freedom from depression (the pit).  The ability to give to others freely (lovingkindness and compassion).  

5Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.  (Better than retinol)


6The LORD performs righteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed.… (Peaceful relationships)

It ALL hinges on forgiveness.  Being forgiven.  And - made in His image - able to forgive.


All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.  

The only way to not be mastered by anything is to live in the freedom of the cross.  David lists what things are beneficial/profitable for us.  He lists what God Himself IS for us.  He doesn't just give us these things.  He IS these things for us.

I'm still stuck right here on this verse.  I think maybe getting all that's been said up to here in I Corinthians will help me understand all that is coming.  

Christ and him crucified. 

I could go forward and mentally check off the verses ahead, but there's something for me right here.  I'm OK camping here for as long as it takes.  

These two verses are ultimately still referring to immorality.  It's painfully clear!  

But they are to be seen in the light of God's desire to BE our benefit, our benediction, our blessing.  He does not cut himself off from the immoral.  But He does not sit around a say He'll bless their immorality when it robs them of His presence!  And yet, sandwiched in there, is this verse about food.  I'll have to face that tomorrow.  

In the meantime... It's advent.  Christ is being born into my heart.  The first candle stands for prophets/faith/history.  They waited so long for Christ to show up... They waited when things were bad.  They waited when things didn't make sense.  They waited through seasons of not feeling blessed at all.  

And one night, to their surprise... he just showed up.  Suddenly, I'm seeing it.  He showed up wrapped in the very things they wanted deliverance from.  Swaddled in rags.  Wrapped in poverty, born with rejection from a roof over his head, hungry, dependent on the mercy of others.  Born like a refugee.  A frowned upon marriage.  He came and let himself get

wrapped up in everything we try so hard to avoid.

Hmmm... something to think about.